Overcome the Most Common Excuses Seniors Use to Avoid Discussing Assisted Living (and Other Elder Care Options)

It’s easy to try and avoid discussing uncomfortable topics. Most of us have a variety of tactics we would use to stave off topics we simply don’t want to be involved in.

Some people walk away, head off to their room, down to the basement or a workshop, out to the garage, or even to the yard to start raking leaves, even if it’s raining outside (anything to avoid talking about whatever it is). Other people try and change the subject … quickly.

Still others will hem and haw, beat around the bush, and avoid answering pointed questions. There are many excuses seniors build over time to avoid certain uncomfortable topics, including assisted living.

In reality, though, assisted living is an important subject to discuss with your spouse, yourself, an aging parent, a grandparent, a friend, or even a close neighbor.

If you plan to talk to somebody else about any type of elder care, especially assisted living, you need to be prepared for some of the excuses or roadblocks they might put up in an effort to move the conversation away from that issue.

First, they may say it costs too much.

Cost is certainly a consideration for many people, but when you start putting numbers together and looking at the details, you begin to realize that it is affordable. Elderly men and women, even if they own their house outright, may be paying almost as much in property taxes every month as they could paying for a quality assisted living community.

On top of that, meals are provided, regular medical attention is often offered, there’s entertainment, regular activities, maybe even a fitness center.

There’s so much value in assisted living that for somebody to immediately dismiss it because of the cost is somebody who may very well be missing out on a wonderful future.

They say it’s no different than other types of care.

This is one of the most common misconceptions people have. Assisted living is so different. While quality assisted living communities do offer some medical attention, maybe bring in doctors once or twice a week, a dentist, an optometrist, nurses, and others, even providing transportation to these specialists and other medical professionals throughout the week, the primary focus is about living life to the fullest.

Somebody who chooses assisted living is focused on quality of life, not just surviving it. After all, none of us ultimately survives.

Third, some seniors assume family want to get rid of them.

This couldn’t be further from the truth for most people. However, caring for an aging parent or spouse can be physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. It can completely drain the life out of someone.

When that person is getting worn out, they need to talk about other elder care options, of which assisted living is one of the best. It’s not because they want to get rid of the senior, but because they understand assisted living offers a wonderful quality of life for those who pursue it.

Lastly, many seniors assume they’re fine where they are.

If that were true, they wouldn’t be calling family or friends for help more often than not. If that were true, they would be able to live fine without any support.

But them requiring help to go grocery shopping, to prepare meals, to get out of bed in the morning, to check in on them regularly, and so forth is a clear sign they are not. They might be able to stay there, sure, but they would be missing out on an exceptional long-term care option.

Here at the MDSL Academy we want to train our physicians to understand the mindset of our residents and family members when it comes time for them to place their loved ones into an RAL. Helping family members understand barriers their senior family members may assume is a big step in helping them feel comfortable to transitioning to an RAL - perhaps even your own!